Episode 2: Detachment, Quitting, and Learning to Trust Myself
Trigger Warning: This post discusses job resignation, workplace toxicity, body image, weight loss, financial anxiety, and self-esteem.
Hello and welcome back to Episode 2.
Today I want to talk about something I didn’t know had a name until I felt it — a strange emotional numbness that hits after you quit something that once controlled your life. I don’t know if it’s officially called detachment syndrome, but it feels real to me.
Giving My Resignation (And Everything That Followed)
I gave my resignation on 16 December 2025 from my job as a content creator.
Ever since then, I’ve been living in this uncomfortable in-between state. Not relief. Not excitement. Just fear.
The only recurring thought in my head has been:
What if I end up broke?
Which is ironic — because I’m not.
I have multiple income streams. I’ve planned. I’m not reckless.
And yet, the fear exists.
So much so that I asked my boss two or three times if it was possible to take my resignation back.
The answer was a firm no.
Workplace Toxicity Shows Its True Face
The workplace itself was toxic — there’s no sugarcoating that. But what shocked me most was how quickly people turned on me after I resigned.
Suddenly:
I was accused of gossiping
I was blamed for things I didn’t do
Situations were twisted against me
In reality, I stayed quiet. I did my job. I minded my business.
But I was also:
The newest employee
The youngest
The only Gen Z person in the office
And somehow, that made everything my fault.
I joined in October.
I quit in December.
And apparently, that made me disposable.
What This Job Did Give Me (And I’m Grateful for That)
Despite everything, I won’t deny this job gave me something important.
It gave me temporary financial stability
It gave me enough money to start Upwork
It helped me open my Etsy shop
It connected me to a new business partner
It reminded me I can survive on my own
The pay was low. Very low.
But it helped me take my next step — and that matters.
Now I’m learning to accept the reality:
I quit. And it’s okay.
Job Hunting Reality (And How Bad the Market Is)
I’m now actively looking for a job in compliance — the field I actually want to be in.
And honestly?
The job market is terrible.
Applications disappear.
Responses never come.
Rejections feel personal even when they aren’t.
But I’m trying.
And that’s all I can do right now.
Comfort Food, Cooking, and Small Joys
In the middle of all this emotional chaos, I cooked.
Yesterday, I made dal chawal — my comfort food.
Today, I tried chicken pot pie for the first time, and it turned out really good.
If you want the recipe, comment below and I’ll edit this post to add it.
Cooking has become grounding for me. It reminds me that not everything in life needs to be rushed or optimized.
How I Gained (And Lost) the Weight
During my LLB, I gained around 20 kg.
And with that weight gain came deep insecurity.
I stopped:
Wearing makeup
Dressing nicely
Feeling confident in my own body
Now, one of my 2026 goals is simple but deeply personal:
I want to win myself back.
Not for attention.
Not for validation.
Just to feel comfortable in my own skin again.
Body Insecurities I’m Finally Facing
I’ll be honest — I’m still insecure.
I don’t like:
How my hair looks
How my makeup sits
How I feel in my own body sometimes
But avoiding myself isn’t fixing anything.
So I’m doing small, practical things:
Booking regular waxing appointments again
Taking care of my face consistently
Starting minoxidil for hair growth
Not for perfection — for self-respect.
The Real Weight Loss Lesson: Denial to Discipline
For a long time, I denied the truth:
I gained weight because of junk food and portion sizes.
The real process looked like this:
Denial
Acceptance
Finding solutions
Practicing discipline
Change
Now:
I cook at home instead of ordering takeaway
I eat smaller portions
I stop when I’m full
I used to eat two burgers in one sitting.
Now I eat half — and I’m genuinely proud of that.
That’s growth no one sees.
Money Habits I’m Finally Proud Of
When I first started earning, I saved nothing.
No emergency fund. No awareness.
Now?
I save.
I pause before spending.
I think about my future.
And honestly — that might be my biggest win this year.
The Journal That Helped Me (And Why I Created It)
Before I end this episode, I want to share something important.
There is one journal that genuinely helped me work through my body image issues. I built it with guidance from therapy and my own experience.
That journal helped me so much that I decided to turn it into a printable product.
It’s available in my Etsy shop, and it’s linked below.
If you give it a chance — even a small one — I truly believe it can help.
And if you ever want to see my real journey, my real before-and-afters, comment below. I’m not an influencer. I express myself through words — but I won’t hide the truth.
Final Thoughts
I don’t know what this episode was exactly.
But it was honest.
And that’s enough.
Thank you for being here.
Stay tuned for Episode 3.
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