pages from my plate.
Hi, this is me. This is my life.
And today, I’m starting with the one thing I’ve been struggling with the longest: weight.
Body image—God, it hurts.
I’m 21 years old, and today, I weigh 80.60 kg. But there was a time I weighed 92.7 kg, and before that, I was the “thick” girl people noticed—for all kinds of reasons. I’ve been 69 kg before. I’ve also been 73. That version of me felt pretty. Wanted. Visible in a good way. Never skinny, but confident.
But last year, everything fell apart.
In 2024, I failed four out of seven LLB subjects. I gained weight like I never had before. I hated how clothes fit me. I hated going out, hated the mirror, hated the way my own face looked in photos. My size medium-large didn’t fit anymore. My once-favorite clothes were too tight, and instead of fighting for myself, I just... gave up. Tossed them out like they never mattered.
Then one day in June 2024, I stepped on the scale. 92.7 kg.
I broke. That number? It shattered me. Not because it was a number—but because it reflected how much I had abandoned myself.
The turning point:
I had tried everything—aerobics, egg diets, intermittent fasting, OMAD, juice cleanses. I was working out, starving myself, crying quietly while eating boiled eggs—and nothing worked. I was still 92.7 kg. I even got hit by a car (I'm okay now), and that setback paused my exercise for a while.
So in April 2025, I went to a doctor. I was done pretending I was okay.
He ran tests—borderline cholesterol, fatty liver, fatty pancreas—but no PCOS. Still, my periods were almost vanishing: barely a stain, one day max. I felt like my womanhood was fading.
And then things slowly began to change.
In 3 months, I lost 10 kg.
In the fourth month, nothing changed. Plateau.
But guess what? For the first time in my life, the scale moved backwards. And it stayed there. Two whole months. And that in itself—was a victory.
“Write about a moment when you felt your body shift—not just in weight, but in energy. What changed inside you?”
“What was the first time you noticed yourself shrinking back into who you really are?”
The little things that told me I was coming back to life:
I didn’t need new clothes this summer.
My old ones finally fit again.
My jeans? Loose at the waist.
My arms, slimmer.
My face? Softer, clearer.
I could feel my jawline, my knuckles, even my collarbones.
And I didn’t just see the change—I felt it.
The dark side of healing (but I still chose it):
Healing isn’t magic. I had rotten egg burps, constipation, and cramps.
My body hated soda, hated fried food, hated anything processed.
But I was learning to listen to it. Really listen.
I switched out 21 fast food meals a week for 1 or 2 carefully chosen ones.
I began cooking again—not out of punishment, but as a form of peace.
Coming Up Next:
The 5 Recipes That Carried Me Through My Healing
High-protein, desi, easy on digestion (and my soul).
Recipes that kept me nourished without making me sick.
Recipes that felt like home when everything else didn’t.
Let’s talk food. Let’s talk comfort. Let’s talk healing.
Because I said I’d show you what helped, and this? This is it.
These are the five recipes that helped me live again:
1. Dal Chawal – The Healing Hug
This isn’t lentil soup. This is dal chawal.
And you don’t sip it from a mug—you eat it with your fingers, with achaar, with green chutney, or maybe just two green chillies on the side.
You eat it when your body doesn’t want anything else.
You’ll need:
Split Yellow Moong Dal (split yellow lentils)
Red Masoor Dal (split red lentils)
Tomatoes
Salt
Red chili powder
Knorr chicken cube (optional for flavor)
Water (2x the amount of dal)
How to make it:
Sauté the tomatoes in a little oil, add your dals, spices, cube, and water.
Boil for 20–25 minutes or use a pressure cooker for 7–8 minutes.
Secret:
Make a separate tarka—heat oil, add cumin seeds, red chilies, and garlic till golden. Pour over the dal. Done.
Eat with boiled rice. Or on its own.
Feel the comfort seep in.
2. Apple Peanut Butter Smoothie – My Pre-Workout Lifesaver
I hate eggs. Always have. But I needed protein. I needed energy.
And this smoothie? It saved me every single morning.
Ingredients:
1 cup milk
2 tbsp peanut butter
1 apple
1 banana
Blend. Drink.
It fills you up just enough, doesn’t mess with your gut, and keeps you going.
3. Veggie Omelette – Sometimes I Want Breakfast
I don’t always eat breakfast. But when I do? This is it.
Ingredients:
2 eggs (whole, with yolks)
Capsicum, carrots, peas, mushrooms, olives
Salt, pepper
Cheddar cheese (just a little, for the soul)
Whisk the eggs, pour onto a pan. When one side’s cooked, add veggies and fold.
Cheese goes inside. Done. Easy. Warm. Comforting.
4. Pav Bhaji – But My Way
This isn’t the Mumbai street version. This is my survival food.
Full of protein, fiber, flavor—and made for a broken metabolism.
You’ll need:
Shredded chicken (or homemade shami kebab)
Onion, tomatoes, garlic, ginger
All the vegetables you can find
Salt, red chili powder, cumin seeds
Chicken cube or chicken stock
Fry onion, garlic, tomatoes, add veggies and chicken.
Add a bit of water, let it cook down, mash it, season it, let it thicken.
Eat with toasted bread. Or roti. Or just as is.
You’ll feel full without feeling heavy. That’s rare.
5. Grilled Chicken with Cheese Sauce – My Fancy Girl Dinner
I make this when I want to feel like I’m put together.
When I want to eat something clean but also feel comforted.
For the chicken marinade:
Olive oil
Vinegar
Black pepper
Salt
Soya sauce
Chili sauce
Grill it. Use any cut—thigh, breast, leg, wing—whatever.
For the cheese sauce:
Milk
Cheese
Salt, pepper, oregano
Whisk it on heat till smooth.
Sides: Stir-fried veggies—capsicum, peas, carrots, beans, potatoes—whatever’s in the fridge.
I eat around 100 grams of chicken at a time. Not because I try to eat less.
But because my body tells me when to stop. And honestly? That’s enough.
These five things?
They made me feel like myself again.
And through all of it—what truly held me steady was writing.
I kept a journal I called The Journal That Helped Me Feel Like Me Again.
Every night, I poured myself into it: raw, broken, tender, real.
I wrote about my food, my feelings, my frustrations—everything I didn’t have the words to say out loud.
The prompts weren’t about being better.
They were about being with myself.
I used to eat 21 fast food meals a week.
Now? I eat what I make.
I crave what I cook.
And most of all, I feel peace in food.
For the first time in years.
Use these.
Eat real food.
Feel your bones again.
You’re not just losing weight.
You’re finding you.
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